Working from home seemed like a helluva good idea to me; and having reached a point in my life where most of the people I know have a career I decided to go out and get one for myself.
Nothing too grand, though; I don’t really want to have to wear a suit and tie everyday and if I can avoid weekend work and anything that starts before nine or finishes after six….nothing where I have to commute, would be nice, avoid the traditional rush hour stresses and strains…
|Behold; my new business empire!|
So working from home traditionally conjures up some 1970’s housewife, cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth and drool hanging from the corner of her kids mouth being ignored in the corner, as she sits and gradually works her way through a small mountain of envelopes and a small mountain of leaflets to create one giant mountain of envelopes stuffed with leaflets.
But thankfully this isn’t some BBC production of how hard it is for a working class mum – it’s the goddamn future! And by all coincidence and happy happenstance I happened to have received several emails in my inbox from what was clearly some sort of coalition of marketing psychics revealing that within fifteen minutes I could be earning £££’s from the comfort of my own home using just my laptop.
After about half an hour it’s becoming apparent that if I’m to see any real money from this not only am I going to have to find at least five more hours in the day to compliment the twenty four we currently enjoy but I’m going to have to forego a few little pleasures in life I’ve somehow gotten used to; like seeing another human being or going to the bog – and that’s not always the easiest of the days decisions to make for a man, either. For a start, do I sit or stand? And if I sit, should I go get a book now just in case I decide to go one further up the toilet/number code than I’m currently considering?
Of course, there might be a cigarette or something floating on the surface, and if there is, a man could be there for some time. If only they came up with that app…
And why are my options so limited in how I choose to collect my vast surplus income? Some surveys have distinguishable systems of paying out actual hard cash through increments of what boils down to some serious hard-core MMORPG style grindage. To compound the sheer bastardry on show they entice you into joining with promises of average payout-per-survey earnings comparable to what my next door neighbour receives for a half hours *hem-hem * personal service.
I’m not saying there aren’t people out there willing to pay fifty pounds for someone to sit and click three ‘yes/no’ answers for them in an honest appraisal of their product/promotion/piece of old tat. I just don’t seem to be getting any in my inbox.
|…this, or similar.|
Instead I’m inundated with offers that request ‘just a moment of your time’ for the reward of some vouchers to spend on ‘All these different web-sites!’ Well, thank-you, yes. That would indeed be a generous offer to some. But I’m still stuck in that old fashioned notion of currency in the form of real, actual money, to be honest. That cumbersome, foldy-sometimes-clunky stuff that you can spend in just about everywhere, anywhere, and wherever a sale is to be made.
|…the same rule applies here, only more so.|
And is that a scientific quantification of just how much ‘a moment’ of mine is worth in monetary values? Or is it more like how a fun sized bar of chocolate isn’t really meant to be taken as a serious measurement of guaranteed fun – no matter how many times your neighbour may argue this point with you – it’s just a chance to reach in the tin and grab three (because Two would be just under a full sized One, so Three sort of makes up for the effort of having to open Two).
I like the idea of getting a lot for doing a little. Who doesn’t? But why won’t they let me use the little I get to buy beans? Why am I confined to music downloads for a sizeable chunk of my time, or Warcraftian investment of effort to get anything even half as better that I may actually want?
|The floor is awash with the damn things…|
Horses for courses, though, I suppose. If I exclude all the surveys that don’t pimp out like that…and the ones that seem to offer a fair time invested/reward attained ratio…and all the ones telling me I may have already won an iPad2…and I’m left with three.
Unless I’m greatly undervaluing the three survey companies I’m left with I don’t think a tin of Heinz heart helpers will be seeing the inside of my saucepan any time soon.
If you’ve got the time and (in some cases) sheer dedication to ‘sit n’ click’ for those big, big prizes then there is a certain level of justifiable payoff on offer through online surveys. Realistically, for the majority of us they’re more like a re-invention of the old style cut-out coupons in newspapers, offering ten pence off brand name beans: Yes, the promise your effort will allow a little luxury to cost only a bit more than you’d usually pay does grab your attention for a moment. But usually you’d be buying the shop name beans.
And a loaf of bread!